Okay, first things first: This is not a porno. For some reason, whenever I mention a film called Midnight Meat Train to anyone, they give me a funny look and ask why I would suggest they watch porn in a group setting, so just to be clear: This isn’t porn. Okay, cool. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s dive in!
Subways have been intriguing to many people ever since their inception. These high-speed, underground locomotives have become a vital fixture in so many societies, an irreplaceable means of transportation that’s necessary work and maintaining several social relationships. But let’s be honest: Subways, as a concept, are kind of of scary. So are subway stations, especially when you’re alone at night. In this horror based on the short story by Clive Barker, a vegan photographer learns just how scary they can really be.
Leon (Bradley Cooper) wants to highlight the dark underbelly and unique people of the city in his photos, but his work is largely uninspired and uninspiring, which has prevented him from having a gallery showing thus far. When gallery owner Susan (Brooke Shields) tells him that he needs to take more risks with his work, Leon decides to do just that goes to the subway at night. After saving a woman from assault only to discover that she has gone missing the next day, Leon decides to investigate similar disappearances and becomes pulled into a mystery that’s far out of his depth.
His hunt for whom is abducting these missing people leads him to a killer named Mahogany (Vinnie Jones), and when Leon goes to the police with his findings, not only does Detective Hadley (Barbara Eve Harris) completely dismiss Leon’s claims and the impressive amount of evidence he’s managed to unearth, she also implies that his motives for investigating aren’t entirely altruistic. To make matters worse, Leon’s girlfriend, Maya (Leslie Bibb), doesn’t believe him, either. As he continues to track the killer, Leon witnesses the bodies from Mahogany’s nightly slaughter, and when Maya and her friend, Jurgis (Roger Bart) discover Leon’s photos and come closer to learning the ugly truth, they unwittingly put him and themselves in more danger.
A perfect blend of horror, a centuries-old conspiracy, and a bit of romance, Midnight Meat Train teaches audiences that not all mysteries are worth the cost of solving. Some things are best left undisturbed, because whether we get on or not, the train never stops running.
I give this one 4 stars.